


A Love Like War

by assxbuttx



Category: Narry - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: M/M, Narry - Freeform, lilo, ziall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 05:00:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assxbuttx/pseuds/assxbuttx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Same thing everyday all day, Niall never got a break from him. Then someone comes to his rescue and things couldn't get more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okayyy sucky at summarys but enjoy this first chapter! And only half of this is in 3rd person and I suck at 3rd person so the rest will be in Harry POV, and only in Harry's Xx

Niall hated everyday he woke up, he had to go to what they called school and get bullied for no reason. Niall used to be the loudest person in room and the one that would make everyone smile, but when HE came to their school he told everyone lies about him. Harry Edward Styles. That was his name. He never did anything to Harry to make him hate Niall, Niall was the first one that said hi to him. Harry had caused him so much pain, he choose to bring a blade to his skin instead of standing up to himself.

Niall’s mum yelled up the stairs that she was going to dump ice on him if he didn’t get up, he sat up immediately getting dressed quickly so she didn’t see the cuts on his arms. He stretched and ran his hand through his already messed up brown-blond hair. He rubbed his eyes multiple times before checking his phone to see if his only friend, Liam, had texted him and in fact Liam did.

Met me at school in 10 mins! -Liam:)

Okay:) -Nialler

Although the smiles he put out were fake, seeing them made him feel stronger. Niall skipped break feast and started to walk to school music blasting in his ears. It was the 2nd week of school and the leaves were already starting to fall off the trees. Niall watched as they slowly danced to the ground, orange, green and sometimes red leaves falling together, Niall found it peaceful and decided to take out his ear buds. 

Niall hoped that Harry wouldn’t be early to school today, he didn’t want to see him ever. Liam thought Harry was really nice and funny but of course they didn’t know what Harry does to him. Harry Edward Styles ruined him.

Niall walked up to the school to see curly brown hair lad talking to a girl. He was thinking about turning back around and calling in a sick day but today he wanted to show the prick a lesson because he was getting so fed up. Niall knew some things about Harry that no one else knew, let’s just say Niall found out Harry was bi. Niall walked past them hands shoved in pockets and head down hoping maybe Harry wouldn’t see him but as he walked past him he felt his feet fall from under him. Harry had tripped him. Niall ignored the hurt and quickly got up and continued walking. He heard Harry say something that made the girl giggle. Niall felt the need to say something back for once.

“Hey Harry,” Harry smirked over at him amusement dancing in his eyes that Niall could see from 20 feet away. “I don’t think she’ll be into sex with you once she finds out you’re-” Niall winked and ran into the school.

He couldn’t believe he just did that. Harry was going to kick his ass, but for some reason he was fine with it today. Niall started to skip a little as he walked, he felt pretty.. Good today. That was a first in a very long time. Niall heard the front door slam and looked back to see Harry practically running toward Niall with pure rage on his face. Niall started to run away too, faster than Harry in fact. Niall ran into the staircase door way and hid till Harry passed. He took a deep breath and put his hands over his face. When he removed his hands from his face he saw Harry in front of him smirking. How the hell did he get in here? Niall thought to himself. He tried to run away but Harry pushed his shoulder back against the door forcefully. Niall groaned in pain, this was the third time this week that Harry was going to beat him. Niall was getting fed up and pushed Harry back a good 5 inches. Harry’s face flashed with surprise but he quickly recovered and pushed him back making Niall hit his head on the door. Niall gave up and just stood there not even caring what was going to happen, Harry noticed and felt something in him snap. Harry stepped father forward and leaned into his ear.

“Say anything like that again I’ll fucking beat the shit out of you. But I guess you wouldn’t mind, you would probably prefer to have me on top.” Harry clicked his toughne and pinched Niall’s cheek before giving it a quick kiss.

Niall attempted to slap him but failed by tangling his fingers in Harry’s hair. Harry pulled his fingers away and grabbed the small of his back and pulled him closer so he could whisper in the blond boys ear again.

“Don’t try anything either.” He pinched Niall bum making him growl. “Oh, how cute.” Harry pushed Niall back against the wall leaving and throwing him an evil grin before leaving.

It was 5 minutes before the bell when Niall finally found Liam. He told Liam what happened.

 

“Well good for you Niall, but be more careful.” Liam was always good with advice but he was getting annoyed with this whole ‘Harry And Niall’ thing, he just wanted them to be together because he knew there was something there.

Liam was also concerned with the other more dangerous things that went on between Niall and Harry, he knew Harry could get violent. Liam was about to say something else that would help him cover his stupid advice when the bell rang. Niall went to Maths, which he ironically had with Harry like most classes, and Liam went to English. He was always afraid for Niall but things were getting more intense, Harry did sit behind him. Liam widened his eyes, now he was anxious for lunch.

 

Niall tried not to notice Harry walking into the room but who couldn’t? He was pretty damn attractive, not that Niall would ever admit that. Harry sat behind Niall looking at the blond boys head, he couldn’t get the feel of Niall’s cheek off his lips and it was messing with him. The whole class period Harry didn’t feel like bothering Niall, that was until the teacher asked him a question that he got the answer wrong on. Usually, Niall was the smartest kid in class but today he was distracted by Harry and the feel of his lips against his cheek.

“Dumbass.” Of course it was Harry. 

“I bet you fucking know it then.” Niall whispered harshly behind his shoulder.

Harry looked at the board, it all seemed so foreign to him. He looked back at Niall and bit his lip. Harry blurted out an answer that to both of their surprise was correct.

“Of fucking course because you’re so perfect you don’t have one single flaw. Isn’t that right Styles?” Niall growled over his shoulder turning back around before even hearing Harry’s answer.

Harry rolled his eyes and flicked the back of Niall’s neck to annoy him. When the teacher left the room Niall turned around his usually bright blue eyes a dark shade. Harry quirked his eyebrow and winked at Niall. 

“What Horan?” Harry growled when he noticed Niall was staring at him. 

“Nothing.” Niall turned back around just as the bell rang, Harry watched him quickly walk out the door in a half-run, half-walk.

Harry walked into the hall in what seemed like a haze, he was confused about Niall. It was being a little odd.

Louis, Harry’s best friend, greeted him with a bright ‘hello’ but when the other lad didn’t answer Louis’ face fell. Harry noticed how sad Louis looked, he hated it when Louis was sad. 

Louis was not convinced with the smile and stuck out his lip in a pout. “Haz, what’s wrong?”

Harry tugged on the bottom lip and smiled his cheeky smile, he was back to reality. “Nothing just really tired.” Harry shrugged, he actually was pretty tired so he wasn’t technically lying.

Louis crossed his arms STILL not convinced. “Harold, do you think I’m that stupid? I know some things up with you!”

He never gives up! Harry thought and rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me Harold and there’s nothing up! Horan just pissed me off today okay? Convinced now?”

“Yes Harold!” Louis smirked when Harry smacked the back of his head. Louis focused on Harry’s mention of Niall, he knew about how Harry bullied him but there was nothing he could do to stop it. Louis could never figure out if Harry liked Niall , he was NOT going to ask that he would probably never see another day again.

Louis and Harry split ways, Harry walked down the hall and it felt like someone was following him. He assumed it was Niall from the way his shoes scuffed the floor. He walked to the place they had been 1 hour before. Niall walked in and pined Harry to the wall, this was a new position for the both of them. 

“Stop fucking following me!” Harry hissed. Harry was actually scared but he didn’t really know why, maybe it was because he was afraid of the fact he’s been making mistakes.

“Stop being a dick to me!” Niall yelled back. The air was tense, they could both feel it.

Harry pined Niall on the wall in one swift movement. Harry moved closer until he could whispered in the shorter lads ear. “Now where’s the fun in that?” Niall shivered at the feeling of Harry’s breath on his neck.

“There is no fun in that.” Niall moved under Harry’s grip but failed to get free. Harry shook his head and smiled a crooked smile, the smile looked forced and Niall noticed and stopped struggling.

Harry bent down into his ear again but this time bite his earlobe. Niall jumped and fought back the pleasure in his stomach, he had no idea what was going on but he was kinda okay with it. Harry put his leg in-between Niall’s legs as he bite down on his neck causing a harsh bruise. Niall fought back a moan and instead a whimper escaped his mouth. Harry stepped back and left without saying a word or even a thought. He had no clue why he did that. Niall touched his neck where a bruise was forming, what just happened? Harry came back in with a smug smile on his face. 

“What-” Niall started before Harry shut him up with a hand over his mouth. Up close Harry was even more beautiful then far away.

“There’s a lot of fun in that, Horan.” Harry removed his hand from Niall’s mouth with the same stupid shit grin on his face.

“I fucking hate you so much.” Niall spit harshly.

“I don’t understand why.” Harry knew why but he was just playing. Oddly enough he just wanted to taste Niall’s neck again.

Niall rolled up his sleeves to reveal the deep cuts in his arms. “That’s why.”

Harry backed away, tripping on his feet he fell back and landed on his bum in shock. Sure there was only a few but they were DEEP. Harry looked up at Niall with a blank face.

“I-I didn’t know I affected you that much. I-I-I’m sorry, Niall. I-I’ll leave you alone.” Harry stuttered through his words and got to his feet in a daze and left to go home. He never had called him Niall before he would always call him Horan or other names.

Harry didn’t realize he would cause Niall to do that. He never wanted that for anyone. Harry couldn’t get it out of his head that HE was the reason that Niall cut himself, that HE was the reason Niall was depressed and that HE was the reason Niall hated himself. Des was right, I am a fuck up. Harry thought. His dad, Des, had been beating him for years, he knew the hurt of someone hating you and beating you, so why he did it to Niall he will never understand. Harry wanted to go home and get beat, he felt like he deserved it. Harry walked out the door ignoring people who asked where he was going. Niall stared after him down the hall, he didn’t know why Harry was going home.

Harry walked into his house looking for Des. “Hey, my cunt of a dad! Get the fuck down here and kill me already!”

Des came flying down the stairs knocking Harry on the ground before he even knew it. Harry’s father hit Harry it the head multiple times. Usually Harry fought back but he wanted to die and he didn’t care now. Harry’s dad kicked his ribcage multiple times before whipping the sweat off of his forehead and getting up to leave.

“No! Kill me!” Harry yelled out as Des closed the door. Harry laid there crying and screaming out for someone to kill him, Niall flashed into his mind again.

Harry got off the floor and stumbled into the kitchen searching for something sharp. In a drawer he found a thin but sharp blade and looked around the house. He felt like he wasn’t in his house but in a strangers home. His mum would be disappointed in him, for everything. Harry walked upstairs to his room and went into his bathroom. He slammed the door and slide against the wall, everything he did was stupid and he was a fuck up. His mum would have never loved him. Harry threw off his shirt and punched the cabinet in process not effecting him at all. He looked at his arms and then the blade in his other hand, he shut his eyes tightly and as he opened his eyes he let the tears spill out without whipping them away. Harry thought about Niall again, now he knew how he felt every single time he cut and it was all his fault. IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT. That’s the only thing Harry could think about. The blade sliced into his skin making him wince but cut after cut after cut he couldn’t feel anything anymore. Both of his arms were covered in cuts, they was no patch of skin left uncut. The blood was pouring out but he didn’t care. 

Harry put some rags on his arms and stumbled over to his bed, it was the place he wanted to be. It was the last place his mother was alive. Laying in the bed Harry thought about the time when his mother died, he was only 6 but it seemed like just yesterday. Harry had known his mum was sick but he never expected her to die anytime soon. She was reading a story about love to Harry when she fell asleep, well that’s what it seemed like. When he woke up he tired to wake her up but she was already dead. Thinking about it now Harry couldn’t sleep. He put his shirt back not bothering to grab a jacket, he didn’t care about anything anymore. He wanted to see his mother, so he was going to the cemetery. He’d had only been there once and that was for the funeral, he couldn’t bare the thought of see her again it would break her heart to see him. 

Harry walked out of the house into the night, it was cold and Harry hadn’t bothered to grab his jacket. He was numb and not just from the cutting, from everything he’s ever done.

*Harry’s POV*

 

I want to die. I’m a horrible person. How could I treat Niall like that when my dad did the same thing? The cold air whipped around me making my nose cold, I didn’t mind in fact the cold felt calming. I reached the cemetery and walked around for a bit before sitting down next to my mum’s grave, it was painful to look at it, she would be disappointed in me if she knew. The tears started to well up in my eyes, I let them fall onto my cheeks. The tears were helping me some how.

“Mum, its been quite awhile, hell its been too long. I-’m sorry I never come to visit you, I always feel like you would be disappointed in me every time you see me. Y-you know dad likes to beat me now b-but I stopped caring 4 years ago. I feel so much pain when he does it to me but when I moved schools I started to pick on this kid, Niall is his name, and now I realize the damage I put on him. I don’t know why I did it mum but today h-he showed that I’m the reason that he cuts himself. I’m a horrible person mum. I’m sorry mum I know you wanted grandchildren but I-I haven’t been happy since you died no matter what it looks like I haven’t truly been happy. No one wants me around expect Louis, I love him mum he’s my best friend but I can’t keep living like I am happy, it brings everyone else down. I want to be done mum. Please, please don’t hate me but today when Niall showed me his cuts-” I took a second to take a breath and sob. “Something in me snapped, I’m the reason he hates himself and I’m the reason that he slices his beautiful skin. S-so I left school early and dad was there when I got home and I begged him to kill me but he didn’t but I wish he did. I deserve it. If you could actually see me you would see what I did to my arms, you would hate me so I don’t know why I’m complaining to you.” I put my face into my hands and sobbed making my body tremble. “I don’t hate Niall, I know he thinks I do but I really don’t hate him. You would like him mum, he has blond hair and the brightest blue eyes and he has a great laugh and smile. I don’t know why I’m horrible to him, he never did anything to me. I think he would like you mum, you’re the sweetest person and Niall is the nicest person. I just want to be friends with him mum but he hates me. Mum I made him hate me, we could be best friends but no I had to fuck everything up, I always fuck everything up. I’m sorry for the language mum, blame that on Louis.” I paused and saw a person standing by a grave too, it was 2 AM, strange. I had laid in bed for quite some time and didn’t realize what time it was till now. “I might see you in a couple days, if they’ll let me into heaven. I love you mum. I know dad misses you and that whys he’s like this, ‘m gonna try to stay strong for two more days but I don’t think I’ll see my 17th birthday. ‘M gonna go home and go to bed. Love you forever, mum.” I left a shudder sound come out of my mouth and sat there and sobbed for a few more minutes before whipping my face off.

I stood and walked toward the entrance. I just wanted to sleep now. I stopped dead in my tracks, for the second time today I knew someone was following me and I knew who it was but I didn’t want to face him right now. How did he find me anyway? I crossed my arms around my torso so he wouldn’t see what I had done, I hoped he would take the hint to leave but even as I stopped he was getting closer. I was fed up and tired and dizzy from the lost of blood so I just walked to the park near my house, besides my dad was probably home I didn’t want to face another beating. I sat down on a swing and faced away from the road, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the chain. The park made me think of the first time I found I was bi, I didn’t want to think about that right now though.

Niall sat down next to me. He knew I knew he was following me. He was probably the one in the cemetery. I kept my eyes closed, I didn’t want to see his face right now it just made me think of the pain I put him through and it reminded me of how much of a fuck up I am. Great, I could feel him looking at me now. Shit, I hope he doesn’t see my arms.

“Harry,” I don’t think he knew where to start, not that I blame him. I felt the same today. “I heard what you said in the cemetery.”

“What part?” I spoke softly, this whole thing was tense. I can see the reason why though. “And you were listening?”

“Harry, all of it.” Niall shifted toward me more making me tense up a bit, I half expected him to hit me but he sighed. “All of it. Your mum. Your dad. I heard about me. I heard about you, Harry.” I was trying to hold back my tears, I never wanted anyone to know more than what it looked like. “I went for a walk and heard someone talking, I wasn’t spying on you.”

“Oh.” That was the only thing I said. Stupid shit.

“Harry! I-I just,” I finally opened my eyes and tears poured out, I pretended I didn’t notice. “You don’t hate me?”

“No, not even a little.” I was still speaking softly but now I didn’t know why.

“Then why?” Niall sighed, he didn’t expect an answer but I was going to give him one.

“You heard me, I don’t know.” I let my arms be shown a little bit but I don’t think he noticed.

Niall practically jumped on me and grabbed my arms. He was biting on his lip, I think he was trying to keep from crying but I was full out crying. I’ve never cried in front of anyone else expect Louis. Even when mum died I didn’t cry. He stroked them as we sat on the woodchips on the ground, I didn’t know what to do so I just let him do whatever. I could feel Niall’s gaze on my face but there was no way in hell I was looking up now, something in my stomach dropped but I don’t know what it was. Niall hugged me putting his face in my neck and shoulder blade and wrapped his arms around me. I was taller than him so I had to have my arms a little bit lower for the embrace to be comfortable. I cried in his shirt probably getting it wet but I don’t think he’ll care.

“Niall, I-I’m so sorry I did this to you. I’m such a dick. I don’t know w-why you’re hugging me, I don’t deserve a hug.” I loosened my hug and kinda sat there limp while he was holding me, he didn’t really care and I didn’t care but I usually would.

“Harry, you’re not a dick. You deserve a hug. I’m hugging you because I care Harry.” I looked him in the eyes. Holy shit he had beautiful eyes. The blue was just.. Magnificent blue.

“But why do you care? After what I did to you, how can you forgive me so easily?” I wanted to drop the gaze but I couldn’t, it was like I was trapped.

“I’ve always cared about you Harry.” I didn’t understand, he hates me.

“But you hate me.” I stated.

“No I don’t Harry.” He brought his hand up wiped a tear from cheek. I blushed but I don’t why.

“I hate me.” I said without thinking. I’m stupider than I thought.

“I hate me too.” Niall finally looked down, I already missed his eyes. “But Harry, you’re amazing.”

What? Did he just say I’m amazing? How? How can Harry Edward Styles be amazing when’s he’s the biggest dick ever? No, he’s got it wrong. “What? No.” I wanted to say he was perfect but, would that be to weird? I wanted to hide in a closet, I was not used to opening up to people.

“Harry, yeah you are.” Wow. That made me feel different. I felt like I was in a chick flick movie.

I shrugged. I didn’t know where to take this now. And now I’m freaking out.

“Harry!” Niall yelled but I didn’t meet his stare, he was lying and I didn’t want hear it.

“Niall. Stop lying. I don’t deserve to live. You’re perfect but I’M the one that made you like this. I’M the reason you hate yourself. Niall, I don’t want to hurt you anymore I think you should stay away from me.” I didn’t want to stay away but if he got to close to me he would feel pain when I leave in two days and I don’t want that for him.

I got up and start to walk away but in the opposite direction of my house. I just wanted to go to Louis’.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Could be triggering
> 
> I'll update Monday or Tuesday sorry this chapter was a little shorter but i had to end it there! Xx

“What do you mean you “felt” something?” Louis was pacing back and forth with his hands on his hips.

“I mean that there’s something more than me just wanting to be friends with him.” I twirled my thumbs in a circle, I didn’t know if I was going to the right person but he is my best friend. “I think I want to be more than friends with him.”

Louis squealed and jumped into my lap squeezing me. “I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Liam owes me $15!”

“You and Liam bet over this?” That’s pretty messed up if you ask me.

“’Course!” Oh god Louis is so dead.

“I’m going to murder you!” I jump on him as he dials Liam’s number and start tickling his sides while Liam answers.

“Leyum-m Haz-z likes Niall.” He coughs and tries to regain his breath. “YOU OWE ME MONEY!”

I stopped tickling him and smirked at him. “I’ll bet you like Liam.”

Louis turned red and pushed me off him and grumbled something rude under his breath. Louis has always made it obvious by the way he stares at him and talks about him. “You’ll admit it some day, Boobear.” I snuggle down into his chair next to his bed pulling the blanket closer around me.

“That’s what I said about you and Niall but that took awhile.” I feel myself blush and hide my face in my pillow as he turns off the light.

“I’ll see you in the morning Haz.”

 

“HARRY!” I fall out of Louis’ chair and groan, seriously does he have to do that every time?

“I’m up! No need for screaming asshole.” I rub my eyes and look up at Louis to see he’s holding my phone. “Why do you have my phone?”

“Niall texted you.” The look on Louis’ face was not a smiled but a frown, oh god did Niall tell him something?  
“Okay.” I get up to go into his bathroom but he grabs my wrist tightly.

“Don’t do it again. Please.” His voice cracks as he says ‘Please’. 

I gather him in my arms and whisper a soft promise and go into his bathroom. I sit on the toilet lid with my hands in my hair, I couldn’t feel more ashamed and pathetic right now.

“C’mon Haz we’re going to be late for school.” I sigh and stand to fix my hair in the mirror. 

I get dressed and hurry to get downstairs where Louis is waiting with an apple for me. It’s odd but we’re both silent on the walk there, even when Louis and I have a bad night before he plays it off like nothing happened.. But today he wouldn’t let it go. Guess I messed up pretty bad.

Even when we get to school we don’t talk or even walk next to each other, I just walk off to my locker and ignore all my ‘friends’ who try to say hello. I hold back tears as I see Niall a couple lockers down from mine with head phones in and rummaging through his locker. I see Liam walk up to him and smile brightly at him before giving him a quick hug. It’s stupid but it made me feel a bit jealous.

Liam looks at me and I turn my head away and slam my locker door before walking in the opposite way of my class. I head out the back door next to the bathrooms and slide down a wall. Everything going on right now seems to suck and I can’t help but feel worthless, even when the boy I bullied wants to be friends I can’t even do that. I can feel a mixture of tears and rain running down my face, funny that it’s raining on this day. Everything is silent expect for the rain and for a moment, just a moment, I feel a little relaxed like everything is going to be okay. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turned to see a tanned skin, raven haired guy with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

“Are you okay mate?” He seems nice enough but I just nod. I don’t really trust words right now. “What are you doing out here? I mean, you don’t smoke like me do you?”

I shake my head. “No, I-I’ve just had a bad day already.”

“I’m sorry.” He takes his hand off my shoulder. “I’m Zayn.”

“Harry.” We shake hands awkwardly. “How long have you been going here? I haven’t seen you around much.”  
“I was new last year half way through the year. I’m not surprised you didn’t notice me, you’re Mr. Popular.” He laughs and I guess expects me to also but I don’t.

“Not really, at least to me. Besides, I hate most of these assholes anyway.” Zayn grins and murmurs an agreement.

“You know Liam and Niall?” I turn my head upwards towards him.

“Yeah really well actually.” I can feel myself getting nervous, if the rumors about Niall are true then he would probably go for Zayn and not me.

I hear the bell ring and jump a little. I hadn’t realize I was out here that long.

“You going back in?” Zayn throws his cigarette on the ground and stomps on it.

“Yeah, I guess.” I stand up and we head back inside.

I wave bye to him as we head in opposite directions. My next class is English, luckily I missed my first class Maths, which I might add is with Niall. I take my seat in the back in English and see Zayn come in. He sits next to me and smirks.

“Fancy seeing you here Curly.” I roll my eyes at him and hold back a laugh at his stupid nickname.

“Same here.. Um.” I try to think of a nickname. “DJ Malik.”

“What the hell is that.”

“I don’t even know.” We share a good laugh and the teacher has to tell us to calm down.

After English we actually part ways this time. I have gym next and decide to skip since 1. Niall is in that class and 2. My arm. I walk out to the same place I was last time and pull out my phone and plug my head phones into it. I put on some sad music and lean my head against the wall. I hum along to it and think of Niall, he’s all I think about now. Someone taps my shoulder and I pull one of my ear buds out and see Niall looking down at me with his stupid blue eyes. And the only reason I say stupid is because his eyes are the best thing I’ve seen.

“What?” I keep my voice quiet and try to control myself from crying. 

“Why have you skipped two classes today?” He sits next to me but is still faced in my direction.

“Because I can.”

“Harry.” I look at him out of the corner of my eye and see he looks concerned. 

“What?”

“Why are you being difficult?” 

“I told you we can’t be friends.” I sounded rude but I didn’t want to.

“I don’t care-”

“I meant it.”

“Fine.” 

Niall got up and left. That was it. I just fucked everything up, again. Now I only have one person who actually likes me and he barely knows me. Guess no one really cares about me then. My head starts to hurts and I can’t do anything but sit here and be miserable and wish I can change everything but I can’t. Why am I still here? What is my purpose? 

I threw my bag on the ground and kicked it around with tears blinding my eyes. I set my phone on my bag and kicked it again. This time my shaving razor fell out and broke making the actual razor fall out. I picked it up and flicked it between my pointer finger and my middle finger. I looked around to make sure no one was watching me and pulled up my sleeve. I took a deep breath before I let the blade slowly drag into my wrist. I opened my eyes but didn’t look at where I had just cute I did it twice more before I looked down and saw that there was a lot more blood than I felt. I did one cut, a straight vertical line from the cut on my wrist to the end of my forearm.

I laid on the ground as I felt my heart rate start to lower. Someone screamed and another person kept saying my name over and over again. I whispered Niall’s name one time before I was swallowed into darkness.

 

“Hey. How’s he doin?” A voice said. 

“He’s not waking up.” Someone sobs slightly.

“You think he can hear us?” The voices around me were become more clear and it sounded like Louis’.

“I don’t know.” That sounded like Niall.

This could either be a dream or I could still be alive. Either way I’m screwed. If I open my eyes, I’m screwed. If I don’t open my eyes, I’m confused. Screw it, I’m opening my eyes.

Everything is blurry for a second but then I get my eyes to focus and see Louis and Niall. I groan and close my eyes again hoping I would just wake up in heaven but of course I’m not.

“Harry c’mon lets talk.” Louis grabs my hand and I can’t help but feel tears under my eyelids.

“Leave me alone.” The tears start to run down my face but I keep my eyes close.

“No, you’re going to tell us everything.” 

“No.” I hear my dad’s voice outside the door and sit up. 

“What?” Louis and Niall exchange a look.

“My dad!” I grab Niall’s wrist, he’s the only one that knows about what kind of abuse ‘my dad’ puts me through.

My dad walks in with tears running down his face. Niall and I exchange a look before I nod at him and he takes Louis out of the room.

“Harry,” I’m a bit confused at how upset my dad is. “I’m so sorry! I haven’t been my self lately and I’m sorry with everything I put you through and did to you.”

“Are you sober from now on?” I was thinking about forgiving him but it seemed like he was serious for once.

“Yes. I’m getting counseling. I promise things are going to change for the better.”

“Okay.” He nods and walks out I’m guessing to talk with the doctors.

Niall and Louis come rushing back in.

“What did he do?” Niall asks and looks at me intently trying to find any bruising or stuff like that.

“He’s getting counseling and he’s from now on sober.” Niall wraps his arms around my neck and whispers a ‘thank god’ into my shoulder.

“You wanna talk now?” Louis had dark circles under his eyes and dry tears on his cheeks.

The door opens again and Liam and Zayn walk in. Liam has a teddy bear and Zayn has a slushy.

“Hey Harry.” Liam gives me the bear and I set it on my pillow, I grab the slushy out of Zayn’s hand before he can say hello. I was really thirsty.

“Jeez!” Zayn’s eyes widen.

“What? I was thirsty.” I finish it and I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. 

I lay back down and they’re still staring at me. “Why are you guys just staring at me?” 

They turn away and I close my eyes.

 

I wake up alone this time and I’m grateful. It’s not that I don’t love them it’s just that I’m tired of all the questions that I don’t want to answer. I still don’t even want to be here.

My dad comes and picks me up at around 2pm and the only thing I can do when I get home is sleep. I sleep most of the day away and wake up when it’s time for dinner. The next day I’m dreading, school is tomorrow. That means Niall is never going to leave me alone and take my advice. 

I’m a disaster waiting to happen and he’s standing right in the middle of where I’m going to hit.


End file.
